My biological father, Dave, was seeing, I suppose that’s what you’d call it, his frequent bartender who was also the mother of a friend of my younger sister. He was visiting the woman at work during part of my sister’s and my visitation weekends while leaving us with his mother. He began drinking (really girly alcoholic drinks) after his supposed recovery of his “attempted suicide” back in 2008. After the woman stopped talking to him and called off the “relationship,” he began drinking even more girly alcoholic beverages while my sister and I were at his house. So, when the woman broke it off, he became more agitated and somehow even more reckless with his drinking. There were even several instances during the summers where he would drink when we would go to eat at Joe’s Crab Shack after a day at Six Flags Over Georgia with my sister and me, and he would then drive with us in the car all the way back to his house in Cherokee, AL. As you can see, he has been and is still a shitty father.
“Bottles Aflame” was inspired by this part of my history with my biological father. In the poem, it mentions him physically harming me when he really didn’t to my knowledge; he did, however, take advantage of me and use me to have someone take care of and pity him . It is also possible that he could have harmed me, because there are a lot of memories I have blocked out for some reason, but I won’t get into that. I hope you enjoy, and as always, please don’t use this without my permission.
“Bottles Aflame”
I’ve got all these bottles
of sadness, darkness, grief
And all of these bottles came from you
You put them all on the shelves inside of me
I drank every one and they kept coming
Because you kept bringing them in
I swallowed all of what’s inside them
Knowing all the while you are the one who wins
Later in the evening
When my heart is filled with flames,
Little did you know
I set every single bottle ablaze
Now you will always remember
My little ember and my blame
Will always be on you
I still live today
Telling all you put me through
And now I stand
Knowing that without me
You can no longer be a man
Unless you bring me down
And swallow me whole
Now you have no one to talk to,
No one to yell at or angrily hold
I live now without your bottles
of everything sweetly bitter
You no longer bother me
Nor make me full of your liquor