Monthly Archives: November 2013

Poetry- “Bottles Aflame”

poetryMy biological father, Dave, was seeing, I suppose that’s what you’d call it, his frequent bartender who was also the mother of a friend of my younger sister. He was visiting the woman at work during part of my sister’s and my visitation weekends while leaving us with his mother. He began drinking (really girly alcoholic drinks) after his supposed recovery of his “attempted suicide” back in 2008. After the woman stopped talking to him and called off the “relationship,” he began drinking even more girly alcoholic beverages while my sister and I were at his house.  So, when the woman broke it off, he became more agitated and somehow even more reckless with his drinking. There were even several instances during the summers where he would drink when we would go to eat at Joe’s Crab Shack after a day at Six Flags Over Georgia with my sister and me, and he would then drive with us in the car all the way back to his house in Cherokee, AL. As you can see, he has been and is still a shitty father.

“Bottles Aflame” was inspired by this part of my history with my biological father. In the poem, it mentions him physically harming me when he really didn’t to my knowledge; he did, however, take advantage of me and use me to have someone take care of and pity him . It is also possible that he could have harmed me, because there are a lot of memories I have blocked out for some reason, but I won’t get into that. I hope you enjoy, and as always, please don’t use this without my permission.

“Bottles Aflame”

I’ve got all these bottles

of sadness, darkness, grief

And all of these bottles came from you

You put them all on the shelves inside of me

I drank every one and they kept coming

Because you kept bringing them in

I swallowed all of what’s inside them

Knowing all the while you are the one who wins

Later in the evening

When my heart is filled with flames,

Little did you know

I set every single bottle ablaze

Now you will always remember

My little ember and my blame

Will always be on you

I still live today

Telling all you put me through

And now I stand

Knowing that without me

You can no longer be a man

Unless you bring me down

And swallow me whole

Now you have no one to talk to,

No one to yell at or angrily hold

I live now without your bottles

of everything sweetly bitter

You no longer bother me

Nor make me full of your liquor

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Benedict Cumberbatch: Stop Calling Yourselves Cumberbitches!

I love him, I love him, I love him. Oh, goodness. I have so much admiration for this man.

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Origami: An Until Now Unmentioned Passion of Mine

011I completely forgot to mention my love of origami. My sincerest apologies, readers. Let me tell you the story of how I came to make 1,168 origami cranes.

In eighth grade, I noticed paper cranes being made in the high school art teacher’s class. I approached her one afternoon, her already being the grandmother I should have grown up with and she and I being good friends, I asked her if she could teach me how to make them. She popped in the VHS tape in her classroom television and let me learn for myself. She’s one of the most wonderful and wisest people I’ll ever come to know.

The tape began with beginner’s forms of origami, like making a paper cup or a paper sailboat. It showed how to make this various shapes step-by-step. It progressed into more difficult forms, like a whale and a box. Finally, the crane came. It took a few tries, like every one before it did. I finally got the hang of it, and I’ve been making them ever since.

However, I only began counting them (putting numbers on the wings) when I became determined to make a thousand by senior year. It was then in the summer before my eleventh grade year that I set this goal. If you are not familiar with the legend of a thousand cranes, here is the story.

So, really, I don’t know how many I’ve actually made. But, since the summer before the eleventh grade, I have made 1,168 paper cranes.

When I say I shall do something, I mean it. I may not do it right then because of my not-so-long attention span, but I will eventually get around to doing it. It took me about two years to make a thousand. You may be wondering what I wished for if you read the above story. Well, I inadvertently made a wish for my art teacher/should-be-grandmother by giving her my thousandth bird. I wished for her to have a happy retirement for she was also leaving high school the same time I was.

I shall probably be making paper cranes for the rest of my life, and I am perfectly okay with this fact.


*photo does not belong to me

Categories: Actually Mine | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

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